


We'll Make Heaven A Place On Earth

by cxstiel_xox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Closeted Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22054255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxstiel_xox/pseuds/cxstiel_xox
Summary: -set after s8 (purgatory)-+storyline set up different from original+"Cas?!"Dean finds Cas in the bathroom after last seeing him ~4 months ago, in purgatory."Purgatory made me realize something, Dean"
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27





	1. He's Back

Dean enters the bathroom and heads for the sink. He washes his hands, and when he looks up into the mirror, he sees his reflection along with Cas's.

Dean looks at him, stunned.

"Cas?!" Dean yells as he turns around to face him.

"Hello, Dean" Cas says shakily, before collapsing onto Dean. Dean quickly catches him so he doesn't fall to the ground.

"Sam! a little help here!" Dean yells out to Sam, who's on the laptop on the bed. he tosses it down on the bed and rushes in.

-

Cas wakes on a bed in the motel room. hovering over him is Dean, and Sam is in the bathroom. Cas shuffles to sit up, and Dean quickly stands up off the bed.

"Cas! Cas, you okay?" Dean asks worriedly. Cas looks around for a moment, then back at Dean.

"yeah, yeah, I'm okay." Cas groans out as he sits up the rest of the way. Dean cautiously sits back down.

"h-how are you back?" Dean says, confused. Cas stares blankly at the ground.

"I- uh, I don't know" Cas say, looking back up at Dean. Cas and Dean stare at each other for a moment, before Sam exists the bathroom.

"what's going on?" Sam asks. Cas looks back at the ground, and Dean looks at Sam and shrugs.

They sit in silence for a moment, before Sam starts to question.

"how did you get out?" Sam asks, but Dean shakes his head, already giving the answer.  
"okay, well, do you remember what happened before?"

Cas's mouth falls open for a moment before taking a deep breath.  
"I remember, I was fighting off a group of four Leviathan, and I was being beaten senseless by them, then a sudden flash of light came, and I woke on the side of a road"

"so I _did_ see you on the road!" Dean yells, interrupting. Cas nods.

"how'd you find us?" Sam asks, yawning.

"I sensed your auras. mainly Dean's, but I sensed them, so I tracked you down with what little sense I had left" He finishes, looking up at Dean.

"a-are you okay? do you need anything? a beer? a nap? a sense of stability?" Sam asks. Dean and Cas stare at each other for a moment longer.

"a beer would be nice." Cas states. Dean jumps up off the bed.  
"I'll get it" He walks over the the mini fridge and grabs 3 beers and brings it back to where they're seated. He sits back down nest to Cas, a bit closer this time.

"thanks." Cas says as he pops the top off and starts chugging. Sam and Dean stare at him for a moment.

"wow, okay" Sam says as he opens his.

"You sure you're okay?" Dean asks, setting his hand on his shoulder. Cas stops drinking and looks at him for a moment.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little thirsty" he says as he takes another sip.

"yeah, no shit" Dean laughs as he takes a sip of his.

They continue talking at catching Cas up on what's going on, taking sips of their beer every once in a while, until the sun goes down.

-  
-  
-

"Bring him up here" a woman's voice is heard, echoing within the walls.

"right away." a male voice responds. The man turns, opens the door, and leaves the office.

The woman then sits down at her desk and is revealed to be, the one and only,

_**Naomi.** _


	2. Welcome Back

Cas opens his eyes to see a room with white walls, a dark colored desk and chairs, and a white abyss outside the window. he looks around the room for a moment before someone opens the door behind him.

"ah, Castiel, you're here!" The woman says. she sits down in the desk in front of him.

"do I... know you?"

"I'm sure you don't remember me. I'm Naomi" she reaches over the table and extends a hand. Cas just stares at her for a moment before she pulls hair hand back awkwardly.

"alrighty then." she says as she sits back down in her chair.

"what am I doing here? where am I?" Cas asks, eager to get back to Dean and Sam.

"don't you recognize it? it's your home, Castiel. it's heaven." she gestures around the room.

Cas looks around for a moment.  
"but why am I here?"

Naomi sighs and puts her hand on her forehead, then calmly sets it on the table.  
"how do you think you got out of Purgatory?"

Cas's facial expression immediately changes. "You pulled me out?"

Naomi leans back and puts her fingertips together. "we decided that all of your wrongdoings would be voided by you coming back to serve Heaven!"

Cas stares at her in confusion and slight anger. _Serve heaven?_ He thought. _Why would i-_

"Now I know what you're thinking," Naomi breaks him out of his thoughts. " _why would I want to work with heaven again after I rebelled_? well, the think is, you don't have a choice!" she laughs.

Cas stands up angerly. "and how do you expect me to do that?"

Naomi leans forward and perches her arms on the table, fingers laced. "easy. you'll meet here every day and report to me, and you'll go back afterwards, and not remember anything" she says, smirking.

Cas stares at her, surprised. "y-you can't do that!" he yells. Naomi chuckles.  
"oh honey, I already have"

And with a snap of her fingers, he disappears out of the office.

-

"... Cas? Cas!"

Cas shakes his head, coming back to reality.

"You okay there, Cas?" Dean asks softly. Cas stares at him for a moment before nodding quickly.

Dean looks over at Sam worriedly, then back to Cas.

"you could use some rest, Cas" Sam says, moving towards a bed. he picks up a bag that was sitting on the bed and places it on the floor.

"n-no, I'm okay, I'll be fine. I just need to get used to being on Earth again." he says as he slowly combs his fingers through his hair, the two looking worriedly at him.

"are you sure?" Dean asks, moving a little closer. Cas looks up at him for a moment, before moving his hands to his face to rub his eyes.

"y-yeah, I'll be okay." he says, as he goes to stand up. He walks over to the bag and picks it up. "what's in here?"

"tools for a job we were on before you popped up out of nowhere" Dean snickers. he then stands up as well, but to grab a few beers. "I'll fill you in on what's here"

He hands Cas a beer, and sets the one for Sam on a table near him.

"yeah, that'd be fine"


	3. What Happens in Purgatory-

*(let's say that they have the bunker already and they moved to there because I have no idea how to continue the story from there...)* -A/N

-

**_"I'm not leaving here without you..."_ **   
**_"... Cas, buddy, I need you..."_ **   
**_"... I can't go with you, Dean..."_ **

Dean wakes in a cold sweat on his bed. he sits up and looks around his room. he stops at the clock next to his bed.  
 _3:15AM,_ it read.

Dean sighs and stands up. he grabs his robe, wraps it around him, and steps out of his room. after taking a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light, he starts for the kitchen.

on the way to the kitchen, Dean spots Cas sitting in the living area, looking through a small pile of books.

"Cas-?" Dean calls out rasply. Cas's head whips up from the book. "what's up, bud? what're you doing?" He moves closer to Cas.

"nothing, just-" Cas stops talking for a moment, then looks up at Dean and continues. "-just keeping myself preoccupied."

Dean stares at him for a moment, before touching Cas's shoulder.  
"I wanna show you something. come here." Dean starts towards the stairs going outside. Cas follows not far behind.

"I don't do this often, but it used to help me relax when I was first on my own." Dean leads Cas out towards where he left the Impala parked.

He reaches in the car and turns on the ignition through the window. he then turns on the radio at low volume. he grabs a blanket from the backseat and lays it across the hood.

Dean climbs onto the blanket and lays across the side of the blanket.  
"hop on." Dean pats the spot next to him. Cas cautiously hops on next to him.

Dean sighs as he lays on the windshield of the car. Cas follows his lead.  
"when Dad first let me go on hunts alone, and before Sam ever joined me, I used to sit on the hood of Baby like this and listen to some classic rock to help me sleep."

Cas looks over at him. "... it's very nice, Dean." Dean looks over at Cas. "... thank you."

"i- uh, yeah, no problem." Dean stutters out, a little flustered.

Cas looks up at the sky, Dean doing the same a moment later.

_Should I Stay Or Should I Go_ plays softly as they drift to sleep on the hood of the Impala..

-

Dean wakes to his phone ringing next to him. not opening his eyes he reaches for his phone and answers it.  
"what." he states.

"Dean? where are you, you're not in your room and Cas isn't here either." Sam says from the other line.

Dean opens his eyes and sees he's outside.  
"shit when did..." he mumbles. he looks over and sees Cas curled up next to him, the radio somehow still playing music.

"Dean? are you there?"

"yea, we're outside, uh, on the Impala. I'll be in in a minute or so" Dean says, then ends the call.  
Dean looks over to Cas curled on the hood next to him. he sighs and taps his shoulder.  
"wake up, bud."

Cas jumps up off the hood. he looks around for a moment, getting used to his surroundings.  
"oh." Cas says, realizing where he was.

"Sammy thought we ran off, we should go inside." Dean says while putting the blanket away and turning the car off.  
"yeah..." Cas mumbles. they both head inside.

As they were walking back, Cas seemed to be in a trance.

"... _there's someone I need you to collect..."_  
 _"... go by yourself..."_  
 _"... make sure no one is following you..."_

_-_

"hey, uh, Dean?" Cas looks up from the table. Dean looks up at him.  
"yeah?"

"there's somewhere I need to go, uh, _alone,_ but I don't have a ride. could I use one of your guy's cars?"  
Dean looks at him for a moment, before sighing and leaning back in the chair.

"okay, here." he pulls out a set of keys and tosses them to Cas. "they go to the gross beige one in the garage"

Cas looks at him for a moment, before standing up.  
"thank you, Dean" he starts towards the garage.

"wait wait, you're not gonna tell me where you're going?" Dean sits up from the chair.  
Cas looks back at him.  
"... somewhere unimportant." he walks out.

Dean grabs his phone. _Sam, something's up with Cas. meet me at the Impala._

He sets his phone down and grabs his jacket. he looks out towards the garage and hears Cas leaving.

"Quickly, Sammy." Dean yells. he goes up the stairs again and out the door.


	4. -Stays In Purgatory

Dean and Sam sit in the Impala following an unseen distance from Cas's car, keeping the tracker open in case they loose him.

"where do you think he's going?" Sam questions.  
"nowhere good, if he's not telling us." Dean states, looking down at the tracker for a brief moment, before looking back at the road.

"he's been acting very strange since he's come back from purgatory..." Sam looks over at Dean, who's staring directly at the beige car ahead, lost in thought.

_**"Cas, buddy, I need you..."** _   
_**"I can't go with you, Dean..."** _

"...Dean?" Sam looks at Dean more concerned.

"huh? what? yeah, I'm fine. let's just figure out where he's going." Dean snaps out of it, but his thoughts still lingering.

"did... did something happen in purgatory that you're not telling me, Dean?" Sam asks.

Dean swallows hard, not breaking eye contact with the road.  
"... I, uh-" he starts, before he's interrupted by his phone ringing.

"... it's Cas." he answers it then presses the speaker button and holds the phone up.

"hey Cas, what's up?" Sam starts.  
"stop following me, Dean." Cas hisses through the phone, the call ending shortly after.

"shit..." Dean pulls over when he notices the car Cas borrowed parked on the side of the road, keys still in the ignition.

"what now?" Sam asks. Dean thinks for a moment, before noticing a beige figure far into the distance.

"we follow on foot." Dean answers before stepping out of the car. he quickly makes his way to the trunk, keeping an eye on the area where the figure is. Sam following his lead, but slower.

Dean grabs a few weapons and stuffs them in miscellaneous pockets, handing a few others to Sam.

"Dean wait-" Sam calls out as Dean closes the trunk and starts out towards the figure.  
Sam quickly catches up to him.  
"Dean-"

"what, Sammy." Dean turns back to him, angerly.  
"is it really a good idea to follow him? he obviously is gonna take every precaution to make sure he's not followed." Sam looks around the area they're standing at.

"we're gonna follow, because he's obviously not in the right mind to be doing _anything,_ and if you're not up for that then fine, go back. but you're not stopping me." Dean looks up at Sam, eyebrows furrowed, before turning and continuing down the path.

Sam sighs and follows behind Dean.

-

Cas sets out for the warehouse at the edge if the city, not entirely sure how, or why, he's going.

He stops for a moment, looking around.

_"...You can't stop now..."_

he shakes his head and keeps going. he thinks back to just a moment ago when he told Dean to stop following him. How did he know they were behind him?

he, again, shakes that thought out. No point on over thinking now, when there's too much to do.

Cas stops once again, but looks behind him. only noticing a few unknown passerby's, he turns back and keeps going.

he looks down the road, trying to stop his mind from racing between one thought to the next. it doesn't work. He thinks to last night and this morning, him and Dean on the hood of Dean's most prized possession.

he thinks to the mood of then, many mixed signals coming from Dean, the music not helping either. The song that struck him the most was _Can't Help Falling In Love,_ a strange song to have on a classic rock station.

Cas doesn't know that many songs, but he truly knew the meaning to that one...  
he felt his stomach drop and his heart flutter for a brief moment. he stops walking, and turns around again.  
 _Dean's still close,_ Cas thinks to himself.

he picks up the pace slightly, walking faster down the street. he glances down a few alleyways until finding one that has an exit. he quickly ducks into the alley and speeds down it, hoping to loose his tail on him.

he stops at the end if the alley, looking around to try to find where he is.  
"dammit..." he hears Dean curse in the distance. he was right, Dean _was_ nearby.

_"...go left..."_

he looks to his left and sees the warehouse a bit closer than before. The only problem is that he'd have to cross the street, the one that Dean and Sam are currently going down.

he hesitantly makes his way across the street, trying to avoid being seen. it doesn't work.

"there!" Dean calls from down the street. Cas looks in the direction of his voice, and sees Dean and Sam already running towards him.

in a panic, Cas quickly runs towards the warehouse. he doesn't go inside yet, but around it. he pulls out his angel blade, ready for when they turn the corner.  
 _Am I really going to hurt them?_ Cas lowers his blade.

_"... They're going to ruin your mission..."_   
_"... You don't have a choice..."_

Cas shakes his head.  
"I can't..." he drops his blade and curls up onto the ground.

Dean and Sam quickly come from the sound of Cas's blade falling. they turn the corner and see Cas on the floor, repeating _I can't,_ almost like he's talking to someone.

"Cas!?" Dean lowers himself to Cas.

"I can't... No... i-" Cas stops his repetition and looks up. he sees Dean. but he doesn't hear Dean.

_"... You can't let him ruin your mission..."_

Cas reaches for his blade, but stops midway. he looks up at Dean again, who looks worried. his mouth is moving, but nothing is coming out.

a high pitched ringing noise starts to fill his ears.  
"ngk..." Cas brings one of his hands up to his head. he sees Dean put his hand in his shoulder, but again, he doesn't hear anything.

he feels Dean start to pick him up off the floor. almost against his will, Cas picks up his blade and swings in Dean's direction. The ringing started to fade, and he could hear Dean's yelling again.

"Cas! Cas, wait!" Dean grabs Cas's arm and knocks the blade out of it. he keeps his wrist in his hand.  
"Cas, what the hell?!" Dean yells, but he doesn't seem angry. he seems worried.

Cas puts his hand on his head again.  
"ngk... Dean... something... is wrong- ah!" Cas looks around, everything starting to become blurry.

_"... You failed your mission, Castiel..."_

Cas looks at Dean before collapsing onto him.  
"... Cas-!..." The last thing he heard was Dean yelling at Sam to get the car while Dean stayed with Cas, trying to wake him up.


	5. Your Only Weakness

Cas wakes in the back of the Impala. he looks out the window, trying to figure out where he was.  
his moving must've made too much noise, because Sam and Dean started speaking.

"mornin', sleeping beauty" Dean joked, looking though the rearview mirror only for a moment.  
Sam leans closer to Dean, whispering to him, probably about Cas.

Dean clears his throat.  
"so, Cas. what were you doing?"  
Cas looks at the back of his head. "what do you mean?"

Dean scoffs. "don't _What do you mean_ me, Cas. what were you doing at the warehouse that you didn't want us to follow so badly that you tried to kill me?!"

Cas looks at Sam, who's turned around, looking at him. Cas tilts his head. "I don't..."

Sam turns back around.  
"... I don't think he remembers, Dean." Dean looks through the mirror again, almost like he's testing to see if Cas is lying.

"... we're going home, Cas, and we'll see what's goin on with you, okay?" Dean looks back at the road. Cas nods, then settles back into the seat, looking out the window.

-

"You failed, Castiel." Naomi paddles her fingers on the table, staring intensely at Cas.

"I know, and I'm sorry. it won't happen again-" Cas starts.

"you're right, it won't. because we're going to make sure you little Dean Winchester wont be in your way" Naomi snaps her fingers and a surgery table and tools appear behind him.

"y-you can't-" Cas's arms are grabbed by two angels, and they drag him onto the table.

Naomi calmly walks over to the table and straps him down.  
"there we go, all safe and secure. ready?" Naomi grabs a scalpel off the side table.

"You can't do this, Naomi." Cas rustles around on the table, trying to break free.  
Naomi presses a hand down on his shoulder, causing him to stop moving.

"I can do whatever I want, Castiel." she removes the layers of clothing to reveal his bare skin. she brings the scalpel towards the center of his chest. she slowly presses onto his skin, cutting into it.

"ngk-!" Cas's pain radiated through his whole body, even back on earth. while the cut may not be on his physical body, it still hurt.

his mind cuts briefly back to earth. he puts a hand on his chest while looking around, breathing heavily. although, Sam and Dean can't hear him over the blasting music.

once he feels that his chest isn't actually bleeding he leans back into the seat, but his mind goes back to Naomi's office.

Naomi cuts deeper into his chest. Cas screams on pain, rustling around the table.  
Naomi finally stops when a decent sized cut is over his chest.

"good." She places the scalpel down on the side table and grabs some type of disk. she places it in the center of his chest and begins to heal him.  
his conscious fades at Naomi's as he is awoken back in the Impala.

"Cas!"  
Cas jumps up, still breathing heavily, gripping onto his undershirt. he looks around and sees he's outside the bunker once again.  
"Cas, are you ok?" Dean asks solemnly. Cas looks at him for a moment, before finally letting go of his undershirt.

"... yeah... I'm... I'm ok..." he replies between heavy breaths.  
"yea, sure you are." Dean grabs his arm and lifts him out of the car. Cas tries to steady himself, but the pain from his chest hurts too much.

Dean lifts him up and wraps his arm around him. "I gotcha, buddy."  
they walk into the bunker, cautiously walks down the stairs, and sets him down on a chair.

"mind explaining what's goin on with you, Cas?" Dean asks, sitting down next to him.  
Cas looks at him, then to Sam.  
"I... don't know..." Cas says weakly.

Dean looks at Sam, then flicks his head to the side. Sam nods then looks at Cas. The two of them get up and go into the other room. Cas is left alone.

he looks around the room for a moment, until he hears a high pitched ringing again. he brings his hands up to his ears, covering them. he groans for a moment, before he falls onto the table.

he wakes in Naomi's office once again, but it's not the same.

"where am I?" Cas asks hoarsely.  
"well, Castiel, seeing as that handsome Winchester you're always worshiping is getting in the way, I decided to help you get that little weakness out." she walks over to a door on the wall and unlocks the latch.  
"might wanna get your weapon out."

The door opens, and Dean appears in the doorway.  
"Dean-?" Cas starts, but is interrupted by Naomi.  
"it's not the real Dean, Castiel. but it can hurt you like the real one."

she pats "Dean's" back, and he launches towards Cas. Cas leaps out of the way, but grabs his blade out.

"I don't want to hurt you, Dean." Cas yells, dodging his attacks.  
"like I said, it's not Dean. it's ok if you kill it." she leans against the wall and smiles.

Cas dodges his attacks for a moment longer, until he runs short of energy.  
"I'm sorry, Dean." he heaves out, before grabbing "Dean's" shoulder and quickly stabbing him in his chest.

Cas stands like that for a moment, in total shock.  
"good job, Castiel." Naomi claps from the wall she's on.  
a tear rolls down Cas's cheek as he lets go of Dean's dead body, it falling to the ground. Cas, not long after, falls onto his knees.

Naomi walks over to Cas and pats his back.  
"that will be all"

Cas jumps in his seat, breathing heavily. he sees Sam in the doorway.  
"Sam..." Cas calls out, but Sam doesn't hear him. he looks around for a moment before collapsing onto the table again with a thud.

Sam turns around and sees Cas laying on the table. Sam runs over to him and shakes him. Dean runs over.  
"Cas!" he grabs his cheeks and raises his head to eye lever, gently smacking his cheek.

"Cas, wake up, Cas..."  
a tear rolls down the side of Cas's cheek while Dean is holding him.

"... Cas-?"


	6. Not In Control

Cas wakes up on a bed in a dimly lit room. he groans and sits up. he looks around and realizes it's Dean's bed.

a wave of memories from yesterday hit Cas. he sighs and rubs his face as he slowly begins to stand up. he stops, however, when his head starts pounding. he sits back down, holding his head.

he appears in a chair in Naomi's offices once again.  
"hello, Casti-"

"stop this. now." Cas interrupts her. she stares at him.  
"what do you mean?" She crosses her arms.

"this. taking me out of what I'm doing just to toy with my emotions then put me back without memory of any of it." he stands up angerly and slams his hands down. "enough is enough, Naomi."

The name echoed through the room, sticking for longer than usual. Naomi stares at him again. then stands up. she forcefully pushes Cas back down onto the chair.

"oh dear boy. when will you learn?" Naomi mumbles, mostly to herself. she taps him on his shoulder from behind.

"You serve heaven now, not those Winchester boys" she squeezes his shoulders a little too tight. "or should I say, boy?" she leans closer to Cas's face.

"I know you have something for that one Winchester. Dean?" she chuckles. Cas turns his face away from Naomi. she turns the chair to face her. "and I _know_ it's not platonic." she smiles.

Cas tries to free himself from the chair, but Naomi presses down on his wrists, making it nearly impossible to move. She pretends to be sad.  
"aw, too bad your little _crush_ doesn't feel the same!" she chuckles again.

Cas tries to move out of her hands once again, but Naomi's grip is too strong.

"you're weak, Castiel. You need to toughen up." she snaps her fingers and they appear in the training area again.  
Cas backs up from Naomi.

"No, I can't." He says, backing into a wall. Naomi shrugs.  
"then suffer."

she snaps again. another Dean copy from before appears from a doorway, and it launches itself towards Cas.

-

"we need to do something about Cas. he's clearly suffering from who knows what" Dean says, not looking up from his book.

"yeah, but... we don't know how" Sam adds.

"then we'll figure it out!" Dean yells, finally looking up. Sam looks at him.  
"we'll figure out what's going on, then we're going to help him."

Dean closes the book and stands up.  
"I'm gonna go check on him." he starts down the hallway until he gets to the door to his room. he knocks on the door.

"Cas? You ok in there?" Dean stands there for a moment, not hearing an answer.  
"... Cas?" he asks a little bit louder. when he doesn't here an answer again, he opens the door.

he finds Cas on the floor in the fetal position, hands gripping his hair, his eyes staring lifelessly at the wall, and hyperventilating.  
"Cas!"

Dean jumps down to him and sits him up. he shakes him slightly.  
"Cas, snap out of it!" he yells. he shakes him harder. a moment later, Sam walks in. Dean stops shaking him and just holds him.

Sam stands in the doorway, silent. he doesn't quite hear him, but he hears Dean mumble something under his breath. a moment later, Cas starts moving, and Dean lets him go.

"Cas-?" Dean asks, quieter. Cas shifts around before looking at Dean. they stare at eachother for a moment.  
"... what happened?" Dean asks. Cas looks around the room, then notices Sam.

"... I remember waking up, then my head was hurting, then you were here...." he pauses for a moment.  
"... The only thing I remember in between was.... Naomi." he looks at Dean again.

"who's Naomi?" Sam asks, finally speaking. Cas shakes his head.  
"I don't know. I just.... remember that name."

"think harder!" Dean says, a little to harsh. he quickly realizes it and apologizes. Cas thinks for a long moment, straining.

"she's.... in heaven." Cas says, finally looking up at Dean again. "an angel. a very strong, high-tier angel." Cas looks down again.

"we'll help you with this, even if we're not entirely sure how." Dean attempts to comfort him. Suddenly, a huge wave of memories in Naomi's office flood in. she must be toying with him again.

he grabs his head again and stares at the wall again, hyperventilating.  
"Cas?!" Dean yells. he grabs his shoulders and positions him right in front of him. "Cas!"

"she.... she made me kill you." he slowly looks up at Dean. "over, and over, and over..." he trails off.

Dean pulled Cas in and hugged him tight, trying to calm him down. Cas stopped rambling, but he was still hyperventilating and shaking. they stayed like that for some time, Sam still standing in the doorway.

a moment later, Sam's phone rings. he quickly steps out of the doorway to answer it. Cas has finally calmed down, but he doesn't let go of Dean yet. he holds onto his shoulders, cherishing the touch, unsure if he'll get one like this again.

after a few more long moments like that, Cas let's go. they sit across from one another, staring.  
"... are you ok now, Cas-?"

Cas nods lightly, looking down from him.  
"I think so...". Dean paused for a moment.  
"... what.... what else did Naomi do?" Dean asked cautiously.

Cas remembered her torturing him, her pulling him out of reality whenever she chose, her talking about Dean...  
"... nothing else, really." Cas said, dismissing the question.

Dean saw through his bluff easily.  
"that's s lie, I can tell. You can tell me, seriously." Dean put his hand on Cas's shoulder, and Cas looks up at Dean.

"... she tortured me, okay? both physically and... mentally." he looks down at his hands. Dean slowly grew furious.  
"that son of a bitch will get what's coming to her, okay? we'll make sure she doesn't leave this fight alive."

a few seconds later, Sam walks back in.  
"it's Charlie." he points to the phone. "I think she can help us with... this." Dean nods and Sam exists again.

Dean stands up, then reaches out an arm to help up Cas. he takes it and makes his way up, holding onto his hand a little longer than normal. he quickly realizes and lets go.

"c'mon, lets see what they got." Dean says walking out. Cas stands there for a moment before following Dean.


	7. Don't Tell Dean

Charlie arrives at the bunker. she opens the door and pops in.  
" 'sup, bitches?"

Sam smiles and waves at her. Dean tilts his drink in her direction, also with a smile. Cas sits, hopefully unnoticed, next to Dean. it doesn't work.

"is this the famous Castiel I've been hearing oh so much about?" She walks over to the table and sets her bag down. Cas looks up from the ground and looks at her.

"he's not doing the best right now.." Dean sighs. "he hasn't dissociated yet, so that's good."

"what do you mean?" Charlie asks.  
"there's this... _other.._ angel," Sam starts. "that's taking control of Cas, she.. she pulls him out of reality and-"

"torturing me." Cas cuts in. The three of them look at him. he's been silent the whole time.

"oh, Cas..." Charlie walks over and sits next to him. "... I'm so sorry... if there's anything I can do to help," she turns to face all of them, " _anything,_ let me know. please." Cas looks down for a moment, then looks up at her.

"... there may be something."

-

"thanks for, uh, coming with me, Charlie." Cas sighs and crosses his feet in front of him. Charlie sets her bag down and sits down on the bench Cas is already on.

"No problem. sometimes the best thing to do is leave and clear your head. but, why did you want to bring me and not... Dean or Sam?"

Cas shudders at the mention of him. Charlie notices.  
"... I didn't tell Dean everything Naomi- the uh, higher up angel- has done to me.." Cas looks down at his hands. Charlie puts her hand on his shoulder.

"if you don't feel comfortable telling them, you can tell me, Castiel." Cas looks up from his hands. he nods and sighs.

"Naomi did more than torture me... physically. she..." his voice breaks slightly, "... she used Dean against me in.. horrible ways..." Cas looks away from Charlie. he looks out to the playground in the distance. he sees a few children playing and their mothers sitting on a bench closer to the playground. _This park is familiar_ he thought. _I just can't place how..._

"... what did she do?- if you don't mind telling me, of course." Charlie breaks Cas out of his daze. he looks back to her, frightened at the memory.

"she forced me to- to _kill_ Dean. over and over and over- just for fun." he stops, and calms his shaky breaths. "then she... mentioned my feelings for Dean..." he adds, quieter than before.

Charlie looks at him, confused.  
"what do you mean I- wait. You mean, like, _feelings_ feelings?"  
Cas nods, looking back at the playground. Charlie holds back a little squeal, knowing it's not a good time.

"I always thought you two would make a good pair, " Charlie comments. "if only Dean wasn't so stubborn-"

"I don't think that's going to happen, Charlie. Dean's pretty set on... women" he sighs. he looks out to the playground once more, then stands up.  
"we should probably head back. they'll start calling if we're gone too long"

Charlie mumbles a _yeah_ and grabs her stuff. they begin walking back to Charlie's car.  
"uh- don't tell Dean, by the way. I think him knowing would only make the situation worse for all of us."

"No, no, of course I won't tell him. that'd ruin this whole thing" she nudges him. he smiles slightly and a small chuckle comes out with it.

-

"what's taking them so long?" Dean grumbles, picking up his phone.  
"give them a minute, Dean. they've only been gone for a hour." Sam sighs.  
"yea, but what could they be doing??" he begins to dial Cas's number. he puts the phone up to his ear.

_This is my voicemail. make your voice... a mail._  
"Dammit. he's not picking up." Dean presses the end call button.  
a moment later, the bunker door opens. Charlie and Cas walk through the door.

"...and then she just, _poof,_ up and left." Charlie makes an explosion sign with her hands as they began to walk down the stairs.  
"oh, hey guys." she waves at them once she gets to the bottom of the stairs.

"where have you been? _someone_ has been getting worried." Sam points up to Dean, who punches his arm. "You were too."

"we were," Charlie looks at Cas. "talking."  
Dean turns his gaze from Charlie to Cas.  
"... about?"

Cas sighs. "none of your damn business." he looks up at Dean, then walks out of the room. Dean looks over at Charlie who just sighs and shrugs. she walks over to the table Sam's sitting at and sits across from him.

"what... what _did_ you talk about, if you don't mind me asking?" Sam whispers across the table. Charlie just winks and shakes her head. Sam stares, confused, then mouths a small _ohh_ when he realizes.

Dean walks over to the table they're sitting at, confused. he grabs the beer he was drinking earlier and continues drinking it. Sam and Charlie stare at him as he downs the whole thing. he sets the empty bottle down and looks at them.  
"what?"

Charlie chuckles as Sam sighs.  
"anything you wanna talk about, Dean?" Sam asks. Dean purks his lips and shakes his head.  
"No. No, I think I'm good. I'm good."  
The two sigh and continue their conversation.

a moment later, they hear a loud thud from the bedrooms.  
"oh, lord, not again..." Dean quickly stands up and races to Cas's room, the other two following not far behind. Dean whips open the door and sees Cas on the floor once again, his hand bleeding.

Dean runs over to Cas. he grabs his shoulders and places him right in front if him.  
"Cas?! what happened??"  
Cas holds his hand out in front of him, looking at it and showing Dean.

"N... Naomi. she... she tried to hurt me by, using my body. I stopped her, though."  
Dean looks worriedly at him then looks up. he sees Cas's angel blade stuck into the wall, dripping with his blood.  
"God, Cas. we need to fix this, now..."

Dean's words begin to fade as a ringing grows, replacing his words once again. within the ringing he hears Naomi's voice.

_**"...kill him..."** _


	8. Mind Over Matter

Cas puts his hands to his face groaning.  
"... Cas?" Dean touches Cas's shoulder.

Cas stops moving, his eyes turning glassy. his head snaps to Dean's direction and he punches him right under his chin. Dean falls back, groaning.  
"Cas, what the-" he starts, but gets stopped with another punch to his nose. Cas goes for another punch, but Dean manages to grab his hand before it hits.  
"Shit, he's-"

Cas tries to loosen Dean's grip, but it doesn't work well.  
"Cas! I know you're in there somewhere! snap out of it!" Dean yells.

Sam and Charlie appear in the doorway and sees what's happening. Sam tries to jump in to help, but Cas snaps his fingers on his free hand and the door slams and locks shut.

**_"...kill him, now!.."_ **

Cas stands up and goes for his angel blade stuck in the wall. before he grabs it, Dean grabs one of Cas's wrists and handcuffs it. before he could get the other wrist, Cas throws Dean back away from him. he hits the wall and slides down.

Cas grabs the blade and begins towards Dean. Dean quickly stands back up, prepared to defend himself.  
"Cas, please..."

Cas stops in his tracks. The ringing in his ears quiet down, but only for a moment. The glassy-ness in his eyes fade for the moment too.  
"D... Dean-?" he looks down at the blade, then the ringing returns. he grabs his face again as the internal voice of Naomi screams in his head.

**_"... Castiel, now!! kill him NOW!!!..."_ **

Cas returns back to his trance-like State and continues towards Dean.  
"Cas, I don't want to hurt you..." Dean pleads as Cas gets closer. when he sees Cas isn't stopping, he sighs.  
"I'm sorry, Cas."

Cas swings at Dean, but Dean dodges it. he grabs Cas's wrist and punches his side. Cas stumbles back. he doesn't take long to revive himself, though. Cas quickly makes his way towards Dean. he punches him on his side, his shoulder, and point blank in between his eyes in one swift motion.

Dean falls into a bookshelf, then falls to the ground. weakened, he holds up a gun and points it at Cas. Cas quickly dismisses it, knocking it out of his hand.

Cas holds his blade right over Dean's heart. he hesitates as his mind begins to buzz. The ringing in his ears and Naomi yelling fades in and out, along with Dean's pleading.

"... Cas, please..."

**_"... Now!! kill him now!!!..."_ **

"... You can fight this..."

**_"... you're almost finished, Castiel!..."_ **

"... Cas, I need you..."

The back and forth stops at Dean's words. Cas moves the blade away from Dean's chest and let's go of the blade.  
still not entire sure what he's doing, Cas kneels down next to Dean, gently grabs his face, and kisses him.

Dean sits frozen for a moment, startled. after taking a moment to process, Dean kisses him back. he slowly brings a hand up to Cas's hair and grabs a tuft of it.

after a moment like that, Cas quickly realizes what's happening and pulls away.  
"I'm... I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me-"  
he's stopped by Dean kissing him once again. this time not so sloppy.

moments later, Sam manages to bust the door down. he sees Dean and Cas quickly break out of their kiss, embarrassed. Dean brings his hand up to wave, but notices their hands managed to get cuffed together. after realizing, he puts his hand down.

Charlie peeks her head through the doorway and sees the mess of the two. she chuckles and Sam sighs.  
"clean this room up when you're done, Dean." Sam says, walking out. Dean tries to stand up to go after him, but is pulled back down from the cuffs. he sighs and reaches up to the bookshelf to look for a hairpin. reluctantly, he finds one.

Dean goes to unlock the handcuffs, but stops when he sees Cas staring at their cuffed hands. he then looks up and meets Dean's gaze. they stay like that for a moment, then Dean breaks the silence.  
"You gonna be ok now, Cas?" he asks as he unlocks the cuffs.

"Naomi is.... gone. for good. so yeah, I'll be fine..." he rubs the back of his neck where Dean's touch was still lingering. he wanted to talk to Dean about it. apologize, explain, ask my Dean kissed back... _something._ but, now's not the time. not yet.

"how is she gone? wasn't she, like, inside your head?" Dean puts the hairpin back and stands up. he holds out a hand to help Cas up.

"Well," Cas stands up and exhales. "I chose _you_ over her." he smiles slightly. Dean smiles back and pats his back.  
"let's go."

-

Dean and Cas walk into the library where Charlie and Sam are sitting. they seem to be talking about something, but they're too quiet for Cas or Dean to hear.

"hey." Dean sighs, sitting next to Sam. Cas sits next to Charlie. Sam and Dean begin to have an internal conversation with facial expressions, and Charlie sighs and turns to Cas.

"so... You kissed him, huh?" Charlie whispers to him. Cas rubs his neck and nods. "did he kiss you back?"

"Charlie, I'm not a teena-" Cas starts.  
"did he?!" she insists, a little louder than before. Cas sighs.  
"... yes."  
Charlie punches his arm slightly.  
"see, I told you. he just needs time to figure himself out."

"yeah, but," Cas takes a deep breath. "I'm not sure if the feelings were... reciprocated, or if it was just... what's the term... Heat of the moment?"  
Charlie makes a small _hmm_ sound.  
"then ask him."

Cas sighs. "it's not that easy..."  
"sure it is, watch-" Charlie raises her voice louder. "hey, Dean!"  
Dean and Sam's attention moves from eachother to her and Cas.  
"Charlie, what are you-" Cas starts.

"Cas wants to talk to you." she crosses her arms and winks. Cas looks between Charlie and Dean, confused in the sudden attention. Dean does the same.

"go on, go!"


	9. What Are We?

By Charlie's request, Dean and Cas make their way out of the main room and into a hallway. they go far enough where Charlie and Sam won't pop in whenever they please.

"what did you want to talk to me about?" Dean asks, leaning against the wall. Cas stands in front of him, rubbing his arm.  
"I didn't... really want to talk, but Charlie gave me no other choice..." he sighs.

Dean lifts himself off the wall. "well, if you don't wanna talk about it, then we can just go-"  
Cas stops Dean by grabbing his wrist. he whispers a _wait._ Dean looks down at his wrist, then back to Cas. they stay like that for a moment.

"... do you?" Dean asks, quieter. Cas lets go of Dean's wrist. he mumbles a _yeah_ as Dean leans back on the wall. they stand in silence for a moment before Cas begins to speak.

"I... I'm sorry. for everything. I should've realized Naomi was there sooner. I shouldn't have tried to hide the amount if pain she caused me from you. and then..." he stops. Dean steps closer to Cas.  
"... and then?" he asks.

Cas sighs.  
"and then the kiss..." he steps away from Dean slightly. he looks down to the ground.  
"Dean, I'm sorry. I don't know why, or even how I did that-"

"-Cas, stop apologizing." Dean cuts in through Cas's sentence. Cas looks up from the ground, and Dean steps closer to Cas again. "none of that was your fault, okay? Naomi was messing with your head, you wouldn't have known."

Cas smiles slightly. "... but that kiss?" he chuckles a little. "damn, that kiss..." he leans back against the wall. "... don't be sorry for that." Cas looks up at him, then copies Dean and leans against the wall behind him.

Dean's smile fades as he thinks for a moment.  
"You know... dad never wanted this kind of things for me. not the hunting, no, he thought it was better for us to do that. but, he didn't want me to be into... men." Dean puts his hands in his pockets and looks down.  
"don't get me wrong, women are great, but also..." Dean sighs. "anyways, I never really listened to Dad's rule on that."

Dean lifts himself off the wall once again and goes over to Cas.  
"but, Cas..." Dean sighs, again, and puts his hand gently on his shoulder. "... you're different. I don't know if it's because you're an angel, or maybe it's just you, but... I love you, man"

the statement caught Cas by surprise. he looked up at Dean and tilted his head. he smiled.  
Cas reached up, placed a hand on Dean's neck, and kissed him. Dean moved his hand that was on Cas's shoulder into his hair.

Dean pressed on Cas until he was up against the wall. Dean's thigh snaked in between Cas's legs and Cas made a _hic_ sound. he ran one of his hands down Cas's chest and under his shirt.  
Cas shuddered under Dean's touch.

they stayed like that for a moment, before Dean pulls back. he stares at Cas for a moment before smiling.  
"we should go back before they go looking for us." Cas sighs.  
"yeah, ok." Dean holds out his hand, and Cas takes it.

-

Charlie and Sam are talking at the table with the laptop in between them when Dean and Cas walk back in. Charlie turns and smiles at them. she then looks down and sees their intertwined hands, and smiles more.  
"sooo... how'd it go?" Charlie asks as Cas and Dean sit in their spots. Cas looks at Dean, smiles, then looks over at Charlie.

"it was... great." he whispers. he sighs and leans back in his chair.  
"I'm assuming you two made up?" Charlie nudges him.  
"more than that..." Cas mumbles, looking over to Dean, who's talking to Sam.

"oh?" Charlie questions. Cas ignores it and keeps staring at Dean. eventually Dean notices, and smiles at Cas. Dean finished his conversation with Sam. he stands up and walks over to the hallway. he stops in the doorway of the hall and turns back around, looking at Cas. he winks and tilts his head on the direction of the hallway, then exits.

Cas stares at the hallway before quickly dismissing himself and following down the hallway.  
Charlie and Sam are left at the table. Charlie chuckles as Sam grabs 2 pairs or noise-cancelling headphone and sets them on the table.

"your gonna need one of those in about 10 minutes" he sighs.


	10. Angel Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW WARNING

Cas followed Dean down the hallway and into his room. Dean closed the door behind them and locked the nob. he turns back to Cas and smiles.

he quickly grabs Cas by the collar of his trenchcoat and pushes him against the wall. Cas's breath hitches for a moment, startled. they stand, face to face, for a moment.

Impatient, Cas grabs the ends of Dean's flannel and pulls him forward, closing the gap in between them. he mashes their lips together and a moan draws from his throat.

Dean pulls away from Cas for a moment.  
"shit, Cas..." he breaths. "... didn't know you could do that."  
Cas smiles.  
"Dean, there's a lot of things I can do that you don't know about. like this..."

Cas moves his hands up to Dean's collar and pulls him down to eye level. his eyes glow a soft blue as he moves his hand and places it on Dean's side.  
a surge of energy flows through Dean's body as Cas pulsates his grace through his body.

Dean's mouth falls open as he processes the newfound feeling. a small, shaking moan leaves his body as he leans his head on Cas's shoulder.  
"C-Cas, what i-is that-?" he pants out.

  
"that was my grace. My grace can do a lot more than give me my angel powers." Cas moves his hand under Dean's shirt and slides it under his waistband. he placed his hand right above his cock. he surges a small amount of his grace through Dean's pelvis. Dean exhales a loud moan as he tries to rip off Cas's trenchcoat and undershirt.

Cas helps him take off his coat and shirt, leaving him in just his pants and tie, then proceeds to unbutton Dean's flannel. he throws off his shirt to reveal his bare chest. Cas leans over and kicks one long stripe across his chest and up to his neck, nipping at his skin along the way.

"fuck, Cas, for an angel, you're really good at this.." Dean breaths out. Cas smiles.  
"this is just the surface of what I can do, Dean." Cas pushes Dean back slightly and gets down on his knees. he quickly undoes Dean's pants and slides them down.

Cas places his hands close, but not touching his cock. he hits Dean with another wave of grace before pulling his boxers off.

Dean groans loudly as Cas softly wraps his hands around his cock. he pulsates more grace through him, before taking it into his mouth.

"h-holy shit, Cas..." Dean moans out. he leans one hand against the wall and grips onto Cas's hair with the other.  
Cas begins to move his head back and forth, giving small pulsations of grace once in a while. Dean tugs on Cas's hair, causing Cas to moan on Dean's cock.

Cas starts moving his head faster, which leads to Dean moaning louder.  
"shit, Cas... I'm gonna come already..."  
Cas responds with a small hum and slows down. he grabs the base of his cock, keeping the rest in his mouth. he slowly pulses the grace through the base, it progressively seeping through his entire dick.

Dean leans his head onto the wall.  
"oh, fuckk, Cas... Cas, I'm-" Dean's breath hitches as he comes in Cas's mouth, moaning his name louder than expected.

Cas takes Dean's cock out of his mouth and lets Dean collapse onto him.  
"Jesus, Cas. didn't think you'd be some sort of... sex god" Dean chuckles lightly. "but you know, it's my turn to have a little fun with you..."

Dean grabs Cas's tie and pulls him forward, crashing their lips together.  
Cas makes a _hmm_ noise as he climbs closer to Dean.

Dean lets go of Cas's tie and takes it off of him. he again pushes Cas against the wall.

he continues kissing him, playing with his tie in his hands.  
not breaking the kiss, Dean starts to slowly slide down Cas's boxers, Cas's shifting his weight to help.

he slides the boxers off, revealing Cas's cock. Cas shivers as Dean traces his fingers around his body.

Dean takes the tie that's been in his hands and wraps it around Cas's cock. he then starts slowly moving his hand, and the tie, up and down.

"Dean..." Cas hums out. he shuffles down the wall slowly, getting more comfortable. Dean continues moving his hand and the tie slightly faster, Cas squirming under Dean's grip.

as Dean messes with Cas in one hand, he reaches for a small bottle of lube on the shelf nearby with the other.

Dean lets go of Cas's tie and focuses on the lube.  
he pours some of it on his fingers and rubs them together. he spreads his fingers around and in Cas's hole. Cas moans at the New feeling.

after a minute or so of the prepping, Dean moves his finger away.  
"I'm gonna, uh, keep going, if that's alright?" Dean questions.  
"please.." Cas moans.

Dean positions himself in front of Cas's  
hole, then slowly slides it in.  
a loud moan rips from Cas's body as the lamps buzz in the room briefly. Dean looks around the room, then back to Cas.

"that was you-?" Dean asks between breaths. Cas nods slightly. Dean smirks as he begins to move back and forth ever so slowly.  
Cas moans, gripping onto the shelf above him.

Dean reaches down to Cas and cups his cheek, kissing him intensely. Cas reaches up and grabs a tuft of Dean's hair, pulling lightly. Dean, in reaction, does the same.

As Dean begins to move faster, Cas's groans become more intense, the lights buzzing with him.  
"Dean,.." Cas groans out, moving a hand into his own hair.

Dean rests one hand on the wall behind Cas, and one on Cas's shoulder. he moves faster, in and out of Cas's hole, groaning.  
Cas, however, has become a moaning mess, with the lights buzzing and flickering around them.

"fuck, Cas, I'm gonna-aah..." Dean leans down and sloppily kisses Cas.  
Cas moans in Dean's kiss, the lights flickering faster around them.

Dean moves his hand off of Cas's shoulder and onto the tip of Cas's cock. As this happens, Cas looses it. The lights above them buzz, flicker, then burst out with Cas's reaction. they are left in the dark, kissing and moaning through their highs.

-

Sam bursts the door open, worried at the lack of lighting in the bunker. he squints, trying to find their figures in the dark room. after finally spotting Dean and Cas laying in Dean's bed he sighs in relief.

before Sam leaves the room, Charlie pops her head in the room.  
"I thought Angels didn't sleep-?" Charlie whispered.

"... shut up." Cas whispers back from the bed. Charlie chuckles from the doorway, before leaving.  
"better leave them alone, Sam. they need their beauty rest."

Sam sighs, chuckling slightly, before closing the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took so long to come out, I had severe writers block right as I started this chapter. thanks for being patient!!


End file.
